All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
