My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
