Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
