I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
