I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
