butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
