Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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