so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
