Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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