Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
