i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
