I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
should my penis look like a turkey
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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