I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Boobs are out for the taking
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
