Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
