You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
