fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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