so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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