At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
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