You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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