Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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