i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
