hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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