There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
