Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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