Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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