they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
