RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
