Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
