It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
