Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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