I heard we made out
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
