I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
