Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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