found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
