I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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