so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
