The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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