You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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