My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
