I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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