So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
