I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
