Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
