Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
im six kinds of drunk right now
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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