are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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