I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
