these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
