would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
