used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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