Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
