I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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