It's like God shit irony all over that family
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
