ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
